Journey to Self-Love
As I was listening to "The Reason" by Hoobastank while I was working, I had a different perspective. Instead of from the perspective of one person to another, I thought, what if I was singing this to myself?
"I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so, I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new"
Seriously.
We all mess up and we are ALL hard on ourselves. BUT... We can change! We have the opportunity to look ourselves in the eye, apologize for not doing better and to change our old selves and start over new.
It's that self-love (no matter how diminished) that pushed me to pack up my girls and I and leave my abusive and unfaithful husband three years ago.
It was that self-love that I started a new journey (with a lot of help from my amazing, selfless parents) with $800 in my pocket and no job.
It was that self-love that gave me the courage to drop other toxic relationships.
It was that self-love that pushed me forward, taking risks, and learning new skills. Skills that have helped me heal, grow, and find myself again--a better, stronger, wiser version.
I don't share this for sympathy or accolades. I share this because I know there are others out there who need to hear this. I know this because *I* was one of those people.
Sometimes it takes losing what you had settled for to truly remember your worth and what you deserve. (I realized that once I was out of the black hole of toxicity I was stuck in for nearly 13 years.) It's not that you aren't good enough--quite the opposite--you are overqualified.
You are worthy and deserving of love, connection, and joy. Remember that.
Sending you light and love,
