The Sweet Peace of the Atonement

After I found out about my husband’s affair, and then discovered it continued and we divorced, I avoided the temple. (For those not familiar with my faith—we have temples all over the world for members of our church to make sacred covenants with God and do the same for our ancestors, thus connecting our family here on earth with those who’ve previously died, so that we can be together after this life. The temple is a holy place where we can feel more connected with God and Christ). I felt out of place because my husband didn’t honor the promises and covenants he made when we were married in the temple. I felt lonely and angry that even though I had lived up to my covenants, I was being punished by his betrayal. I was ashamed of what he did and ashamed that my marriage had failed. Those feelings of shame, grief, and loneliness compounded when we divorced.

I could have turned my back on God and my faith. 

I had enough reasons to.

But I didn’t.

I knew in my heart that I needed Him. I needed His strength to get me through that storm. I chose to dedicate myself more to Him. I’m not saying it was easy. I am definitely not perfect, but I put in my best effort and that is all God asks of us. I attended the temple and worshipped at my comfort level. I am so glad that I did. I would have missed out on so many blessings, miracles, and growth otherwise.

Now I serve each week in the temple laundry.  About a year ago, I was training another service missionary with pressing and taking care of the sacred linens.  I could tell she was getting a little frustrated that some of the wrinkles weren't coming out.  

It reminded me of when I first started in the laundry and had those same frustrations.  At the time, the kind custodian encouraged me to "Just try your best, that's all that is asked of you. It's ok if it's not perfect. Your best effort is what God wants." 

I shared with her those sentiments along with, sometimes it's ingrained in the fabric, but we do the very best we can.

…

Our lives are wrinkled.  The Atonement is there to eternally press out those wrinkles.

My life was quite wrinkled.  I did everything in my power to iron out those wrinkles, but my efforts were not enough.    

Sometimes the fabric (we) are stubborn and don’t allow those wrinkles to release.  I still struggle to forgive myself and carry the guilt of the past. 

We all have trials, habits, and baggage that make our lives (and us!) imperfect.  

Our goal here is not to be perfect, but to do our very best each day, realizing that our best may vary from day to day, and trust that the Savior will make up the difference. The best we can do is take special care of our own temples as best we can - love ourselves and know that our efforts are enough - no matter how imperfect they are.

I'm sure many of you have seen the popular Christian series, The Chosen, a show depicting the life of Christ and his disciples.  I was particularly touched by the story of Mary Magdalene.  

She’d had a hard life. She was orphaned at an early age and forced to fend for herself, she turned away from the traditions and teachings of her father.  She was plagued with demons. Many tried to heal her of her ailments, but to no avail.  

In a poignant scene when we’re introduced to Christ in the series, He calls her by her true name.  That part of her recognizes Him and turns to go to him.  At that moment, Christ miraculously heals her of her demons and plagues.

When later asked about this miracle, Mary simply replies, "There are some things that only He can heal." 

I testify that this is true, as I have experienced this in my own life when I finally called upon Christ to iron out the pain and negative feelings about my marriage and divorce.

As painful as all those married years, as well as the first post-divorce years were, it all happened for a reason. I grew closer to God through this whole experience. 

I found Christ. I gained an unshakable testimony in my Savior. I have felt His presence in my life. I can see now that God was slowly leading me to better things.

If you find something in your life that cannot be healed any other way, seek Christ.  He is the God of Miracles.

The sweet peace of the Atonement is one of the reasons to celebrate Jesus Christ this season (and every day). I know He lives, He died for each one of us, and He loves each one of us.
⠀
Sending you love and light,